Mmmm.... Post-It Notes...

Well, I made it a whole week without soda. Okay, that's a lie. I was eating a piece of bread a couple days ago. A piece got lodged in my throat all goofy. In my panic, I took a sip of the nearest beverage, which was a paper cup of old and flat Diet Coke that had been sitting on the kitchen counter for Zues knows how long. I can truthfully say that I didn't enjoy any soda this week.
Giving up an unhealthy diet is the opposite of giving up any other addiction. With smoking for example, the first week is the hardest. I once saw a new non-smoker who was trying desperately to “catch his nic-fit” apply multiple nicotine patches all at once. This guy was quite inebriated and had to be sent to the emergency room, but hey, I guess that's the college experience for some folks. In any case, I assume it's difficult to say the least.
Conversely, dieting is easiest in the first week for a lot of people. It's exciting imagining yourself all foxified. All eyes are on you. Nobody puts baby in a corner. The Baywatch theme is your background music and the world is your naturally-delicious and nutritious tomato! You're motivated to keep track of your caloric intake or points or whatever your strategy is. You buy hand weights and one of those cheesy sweat bands so that sweat doesn't drip in your eyes. Maybe I don't sweat enough, but I have never had the need to take precautions against scalp sweat getting in my eyes. That's what my Groucho Marx eyebrows are for. What can I say? Genetics were good to me.
But it's the second week. The third week. The forth week. Then it gets hard. In earlier attempts of mine to get healthy, the excitement tapered off so much, I eventually forgot that I was on a diet in the first place. That is, until the next time I had to go swimsuit shopping. Who knows how many times I vowed to starve myself until I looked like Kate Moss. I'm too young to have to wear a swimsuit with the ruffle skirt! Those who own ruffle-skirted swimsuits: please do not be offended. Unless you were around for the American Civil War, you're too young too.
I'm hoping that for me, this new attempt at giving up unhealthy foods is not a diet, but a change in my lifestyle. And maybe since I am consciously giving something up each week (whether it's as broad as red meat of as specific as Twinkies), I won't forget that I'm on a diet.
Also, I intend to be forgiving of myself. If I fall off the wagon and start eating sticks of butter like Snickers bars and begin keg standing corn syrup, I need to assess my situation, avoid guilt and simply amend the bad behavior.
Although I have never had a problem with adjusting the menus at any of my home events for guests who have special dietary needs, some people seem to seethe genuine hatred for those who “just need to be difficult.” That's just not very hospitable, is it Emily Post? Just kidding. I realize it's hard to be accommodating for Gluten-Free Susie, Nut Allergy Joe, Vegan Billy, No Artificial Coloring Carl and Diabetic Phyllis. It's difficult, true. But that's part of the fun and challenge in being a good host or hostess. Deal with it. *Snaps fingers with attitude*
I realize others probably don't share my enthusiasm to be all-accommodating. I also realize a good portion of my friends and family have seen me eat like a sumo wrestler with a death wish in the past. They've seen me pick my scabs, sit in smoke-filled bars, listen to my music too loud, drive my vehicles into snowbanks, chemically process my hair, chew on my germy fingernails, accidentally roller skate into traffic on several occasions, absentmindedly eat Post-It notes and a million other unhealthy things that range in scale of repulsion. These people might be upset if I suddenly want to make special requests because what they want to prepare at their house for dinner isn't healthy enough for my fancy-pants standards.
So, I intend to eat healthy, yes. But within the parameters of my lifestyle. I'm giving up things each week out of my regular diet, but if I'm at my parent's house and she's serving roast beef, well, I'm going to eat some damned roast beef... And like it! I'm not aiming to make changes to be a rebel. That's what the nose ring is for. I just want to feel better and invest in something. Since I don't have funds to invest in the stock market, I'll invest in my health.